25th July 2013 - So what have I been up to???

Sorry for not making it but I've been hella busy with the wee family going up the coast, went to see Amanda Palmer in Edinburgh and at a fabulous wedding at the weekend. All in the best weather the UK has seen since 2003. My golfers tan has come on a treat and my neck and shoulders don't match, but when you get good sun like this as rarely as we do, it's an inevitable hazard of existing.

It's been amazing.

Warm? In Northumberland, whatever next?

The husband and I have danced, sung (in a very croaky voice - still fighting off this hideous throat scruff), plodged in the sea and made sand castles with the little chap, walked miles, ate, drank and were merry to the point of embarrassing ourselves and those who love us....so it's fair to say I've been pretty tired for the last couple of days. I've been staring at my screen of a night time thinking "come on, woman...blog, blog...ooh telly...".

I had a small confidence dip in the middle when I tried on the dress that I bought for the wedding, which due to period bloat no longer fitted. The thing is, in the past I might have freaked out, instead I shopped for new shoes to go with a roomy LBD that I've got and though I dashed around a bit and cracked on with the festivities, perhaps my mindset is changing after all...

Though, yeah, my focus has been...patchy.

But...what I've been doing is sticking with the programme, just not on a do-it-three times a week sort of way. When I've been busy with the wee man, I've done press ups when he's been eating, done bicep curls when during nap time and focussed on enjoying my life. Doing planks while he's playing on the floor....Just not being so focussed on the "I must do x number of hours per week and to do less or differently is a failure"mentality.

I also had a "Big" period in the middle, so did what I could exercise-wise but didn't injure myself and listened to my body instead of fighting it. I can feel my strength building, but I need to work on getting more sleep and eating better to get the results I want. However I do feel mentally a lot freer.

14th July 2013 - More rest...and some words on "Virtue"...

Husband gave me the "Give yourself a break today or you'll break yourself"pep talk today. To be honest, though I'm clawing to crack on, this was a very good idea. It's averaging 28-29 degrees C at the moment, and this thing that is definitely a cold (my sooper dooper hay fever drugs make not a bit of difference) isn't going anywhere, so best to play the long game.

This competes with the part of my brain that is telling me to "go on, work out, not doing it makes you lazy" which is the internal narrative that I've been arguing with for years.

The thing is, fad diets and trendy new exercise regimes, create a mind set where you think to yourself " this is the mother lode, the eternal cure, the solution to my *fat* ass, squiggly middle" and your failure to adhere to it is you being weak. It all boils down to the concept of virtue, which is quite frankly, tripe.

Doing a lot of exercise doesn't make you a better person, it just makes you a person who does a lot of exercise...simple. Avoiding gluten and sugar won't do it either. Do what feels right...for you...and avoid the charlatans...

A little edifying quote....

"All our Western thought is founded on this repulsive pretence that pain is the proper price of any good thing."